Joke of the day

[JNS-Shawn]

 

[Michael Ludwig]

I've been told this quote was attributed to Don Cherry ...
"I liked it better when the Prime Minister and the village idiot were different people"

 

[jackhole]

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?”
The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and 
a mop.

 

[Rob]

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?”
The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and 
a mop.

Don't lose your day job!! 15000 comedian's out of work and we get a Donkey telling groaners.

 

[jackhole]

Don't lose your day job!! 15000 comedian's out of work and we get a Donkey telling groaners.

Don't get me started donkey - just the tip of the iceberg

 

[JNS-Shawn]

 

[H.Jordan]

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids

 

[jackhole]

Why do Eskimo's wash their clothes in Tide ?
Because it's too cold out tide

 

[dad2andrew]

What did the Elephant say to the naked man?

Nice, but can you pick up peanuts with that?

 

[H.Jordan]

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.

 

[jackhole]

Little Johnny the Entrepreneur
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very
excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on
productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl
scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to
appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my
obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.

Little
Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I
explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current
events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually,
it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her
breath...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom
and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he
said."$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you
selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes!" echoed
the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that
much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I
set up a Chip & Dip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free
sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!" Then
I would say, "It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?
I used the
government approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making
you pay to get the taste out of your mouth."

 

[MikeJr]

 

[coffeegurl]

If you have any bowling puns, spare me!

 

[jackhole]

 

[bad_spellur]

 

[Igor Galanter]

To brighten up a bit, eh..

 

[MikeJr]

Igor, I like that one, pretty funny.

Recently finished a 30 day sans alcohol, sugar, and many other things. It's amazing what we put in ourselves that we probably shouldn't.

Keep well,
Mike

 

[dad2andrew]

Igor, I like that one, pretty funny.

Recently finished a 30 day sans alcohol, sugar, and many other things. It's amazing what we put in ourselves that we probably shouldn't.

Keep well,
Mike

Good on you! I'd be making up for lost time by now! All joking aside, like many others trying to eat somewhat healthier these days. The key is read the labels...find out what's in it and what exactly is a portion according to the nutrition label. You can imagine my surprise that Doritos and the like are by the chip!

Kevin.

 

[Igor Galanter]

Igor, I like that one, pretty funny.

Recently finished a 30 day sans alcohol, sugar, and many other things. It's amazing what we put in ourselves that we probably shouldn't.

Keep well,
Mike

Good timing, especially after Bowling Day...))

 

[Igor Galanter]

Possible Grammy winner, eh..