The following questions were asked in last year's GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds')............ and they WILL breed. They already have
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is nowater on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids ?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true!)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes .
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (WTF!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. ( This person has a career in politics awaiting!)
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work.)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)
Q. What is a terminal illness ?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable!)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight . (Brilliant)
Q.. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head
These people vote -- They are the future generation!!!
APARTMENT for RENT
>THIS IS TOO FUNNY ... SOMETHING TO START THE DAY OFF!!!
>
>A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
>the night with her for $500. They did their thing,
>and, before he left, he told her that he did
>not have any cash with him, but he would have his
>secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling
>the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
>
>On the way to the office, he regretted what he had
>Done, realizing that the whole event had not
>been
>worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose
>the following typed note:
>'Dear Madam:
>Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your
>apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
>because when I rented the place, I was under the
>impression that:
>#1 - it had never been occupied;
>#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
>#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
>However, I found out that:
>#1 - it had been previously occupied,
>#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
>#3 - it was entirely too large.'
>Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
>returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
>
>'Dear Sir:
>#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
>beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
>#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
>know how to turn it on.
>#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of
>regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
>to fill it, please do not blame the management.
>So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
>to contact your present landlady...
