Friday Joke

[AccountsReceivable@DRC]

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The 1st blonde replies, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the 2nd blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The 2nd blonde smiles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing - because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the 3rd blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me another stupid answer."
The last blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a minute while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work cadet! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the last blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

 

[MADBOOKER]

HAHAHA...

now I can start my weekend..

thanks.

 

[chica123]

A plane is on its way to toronto , when a blonde in

economy class gets up, and moves to the first class

section and sits down.



The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.



She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy

class, and that she will have to sit in the back.



The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm

going to toronto and i'm staying right here."


the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells

the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde

bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in

economy, and won't move back to her seat.



The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to

explain that because she only paid for economy

she will have to leave and return to her seat.



The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm

going to toronto and i'm staying right here."



the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should

have the police waiting when they land to arrest

this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.



The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll

handle this, i'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."



he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear,

and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goes

back to her seat in economy..



The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and

asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.


"i told her, "first class isn't going to toronto ".

 

[AccountsReceivable@DRC]

A new reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor.

"Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."

The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropriate!"

The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( o )( o ) ".



Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."