Friday Joke

[AccountsReceivable@DRC]

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar, and stared up at the TV.

The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge
did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did, too...but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money....

 

[AccountsReceivable@DRC]

A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot inside a cage - in front of the pet store. She stops to admire the pretty bird. "Here birdy birdy...." the lady said to the parrot. The parrot replied to her, "hey lady...lady...you're really ugly."

The woman was completely embarrassed and walked off furious to work.

On the way home - she saw the same parrot - and the parrot upon seeing her said, "hey lady...lady...you really are ugly."

Incredibly ticked - the woman walked away. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "hey lady...lady...you are so very ugly."

The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store. She threatened to sue and have the bird killed if it didn't stop being so nasty. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say such hurtful things to her ever again.

When the lady walked past the store after work - the parrot said to her, "hey lady...lady...". The woman hesitantly paused and said "YES?...."

The bird replied..."you know....."

 

[APMLOG]

Appendicitis


- A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull it off. Written in large red letters across the tape was the sentence: Get well quick..... From the nurse you gave a ticket to last week." ------